Today on the way home “Everlasting God” by Chris Tomlin played on the radio. At the end a child reads Isaiah 40:28-31. I praised God as the wee one read “Even the very young grow tired and weak. Young men stumble and fall. But the one who trusts in the Lord will have new strength. They will soar like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and never faint.”
I recently was relieved of being a full-time caregiver when my mother-in-law went to be with Jesus. Now, if you don’t know me, you have no idea that natural care giver just isn’t the way anyone would have ever described me. Talk to my siblings, they’ll tell you. It’s a gift that just wasn’t in my wheelhouse.
However, in the almost two years I was Mom’s primary care-giver and the years before that I took care of some of the little “details” of her life, I never felt overwhelmed or anxious.
And those are two things I DO feel from time to time. Much less often now . . . now that I realize when I begin to feel that way it’s because I’m running my own show, not trusting in my Creator.
In my life, anytime I start to feel overwhelmed to the point of anxiety, I discover it’s ALWAYS because I’ve taken on a task or a burden that my Savior did not ask me to carry.
I know not all anxiety is caused by running ahead of the Holy Spirit. Some people need help because it’s hormonal or caused by a deeper mental scar. But for me, almost all of my severe anxiety is a direct result of trying to do things on my own without Christ and without His permission. When I truly wait on Him, I do feel light enough to soar like an eagle. When I let Jesus lead, I have confidence. When God is in control, I don’t grow emotionally weary.
I want that peace and inner energy that comes from following the One who loves me more than I can imagine.